Developing Self-Awareness: A Personal Example
A Process of Growth & Change
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It’s that time of year again. You know… “New Year, New Me!” The only problem (for me) is… that’s not really a mindset I embrace. I have a hard enough time figuring out myself as it is, so adding a “New Me” element would confuse the whole mess even more.
Read the first post here…
There are some practices that I find neat when it comes to the New Year.
I may never remember it, but I like the idea of having a “Word for the Year.”
Using the alphabet to put one thing I was grateful for from the year before.
I tried setting a reading goal for myself in 2025, and while I fell short by a few books I’m pretty impressed with all that I read!
I’ve tried all kinds of “daily” things, that never come to completion. Things like - a picture a day, read the Bible in a year plans, daily gratitude, daily affirmation. It’s all well intentioned, then life happens.
Speaking of Bible in a Year plans, check out this past post…
Every once in a while I like to do a “check-in,” and while it’s not usually on a yearly basis this time it just happened to be. This time I thought I’d see where I was at when it came to my Core Values. ← That’s a link, btw. It will take you to Brené Brown’s list that she uses in her book Dare to Lead, which is where I found this exercise.
I’m not going to go into the specifics of how to find your two (yes, two!) core values because Brené shares that on her website, but I’ll share how this helpful resource has really shaped by self-awareness. Keep in mind, this is only one of many tools that are available.
My First Experience
I found Dare to Lead in the first year of the Masters program. It was on the supplemental reading list for my Leadership Development course, and I’m so glad I bought it! The first time I reflected on my core values these were my top two:
Accountability
Faith
For me: Belief in God.
That was back in December(ish) 2020. I don’t think I kept that sheet, although perhaps it’s in a “safe place.”
I’m not sure if you remember 2020 but there were some big things going on in the world (COVID-19), and in my personal life (one plus one just wasn’t equaling two in a couple different places, you know what I mean?). I remember being surprised by accountability. Of all the values, I didn’t expect it to show up, never mind it being my top two. I wasn’t surprised by faith, it was the whole reason I went back to school.
My goodness, did it ever explain a lot! Especially in my personal life. For the first time ever, I understood why some things really set me off or got under my skin.
So, what is accountability? For me, and you don’t have to agree, it means - if something harmful happens, the person accepts responsibility and demonstrates it through a change of behaviour.
See? Self-awareness! It really does help.
My Second Experience
Fast forward to January 2025 (four years later!), and for whatever reason I decided to see if things had changed. This time I kept my sheet.
Yes, I cheated. I couldn’t get down to two core values, so I had three instead:
Accountability
Authenticity
Faith
Interesting. This led me to ask myself - What does authenticity mean? For me, and you don’t have to agree, it means - I have very little patience for putting on a show. I enjoy the theater, just not in my life. (I also have a hard time with small talk, but that’s another story.)
What you’ll notice in the picture is how all the other values I circled fall under my three main values. For example, my high value of accountability means (for me) that I treat my family with love and respect, and take responsibility when I do something that hurts someone’s feelings. This usually means having a conversation when tempers have cooled.
My Third Experience
Last month (Dec 2025) I found the extra copies I had and thought I’d try it again to see if there was any change.
I wish I could say that I found the third experience the easiest but I can’t deny how difficult it was. I really wanted to get down to two core values, so I spent intentional time over a few days trying to figure out which values grew out of the other ones. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t able to.
Here are the three values I have now:
Authenticity
Spirituality
Self-awareness
I couldn’t figure out if my self-awareness came out of my spirituality, or vice versa. And authenticity? Was it related to my spirituality, or my self awareness? I was at a loss and finally decided to keep them all.
You’ll also notice I didn’t follow the directions on how to complete this exercise by choosing only 14 or 15 values. Instead I had a whopping 45! values. On further reflection, follow the instructions. It makes this so much easier.
Lastly, you’ll notice that my list of added values has grown, too. I find that very interesting, and it gives me more to contemplate.
And… spirituality took the place of faith. I wonder what that means. Clearly I have some more reflection ahead of me.
Have you ever tried to figure out your core values? What did you narrow it down to? Or, if you haven’t, can you guess what they are before you begin?
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