When Healing Hurts
The connection between deconstruction, grief, and your true-self.
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"Now is the winter of our discontent."
William Shakespeare,
Richard III
Deconstruction seems to be the buzzword (or the dirty word, depending on who you talk to) that's taking the Western Evangelical church by storm. And, you know what? It can be a crappy feeling to have your flaws pointed out. But like a wise monkey once said "you can either run from it, or learn from it" (The Lion King). Judging by the rising dichotomies, church splits, and mass exodus... I'd suggest there's a lot of both going on, with some churches staunchly opposed to acknowledging wrongdoing (run from it), and others embracing mistakes to learn from them (learn from it).
Let's step back a little bit, and I'll share a bit about my own deconstruction.
I really began attending church in my late twenties, and unfortunately for me, the church I was "saved" in (because the Evangelical Church loves a good testimony) was part of the Fellowship of Evangelical Baptists (FEB) denomination. Basically, the Southern Baptists of Canada. This is a generalization based on my experience in one Fellowship church, but through this experience, and discussions this is what I've learned. FEB is highly complementarian, there's freedom in Jesus, but follow all these guidelines... that kind of stuff.
So what did I do?
I conformed, because that's what I thought "being a real Christian" was all about. I changed my language, my beliefs, and my opinions. I volunteered my time, had my kids involved in almost every program, and took part in all kinds of Bible studies. I bought into the whole "male headship" in the church, and in our home. It turned out being disastrous in our home. I was a youth leader for a number of years, and taught about "biblical submission" (ick!).
Then came the winter of my discontent.
I started noticing things.
Wondering what I noticed and if you can relate?
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