Empowered Faith: D.Min. Residency Reflections
An update on my research in the Doctor of Ministry program
Every January I make the two hour drive to Tyndale where I stay for a week of classes. I do the same thing in June, only for two weeks. It’s a chance to meet with my cohort, and get myself back on track. I often come away feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and excited. These are my reflections from my week on campus.
I’m not sure if you remember, but back in December I wrote about Swimming in a Sea of Ethics, although it felt more like drowning at the time. It’s linked below, and I fully admit that I laughed at it when I read it again a minute ago. Needless to say, some things have changed, and I have more direction now. (Thank Jesus!… and my professors and classmates, of course.)
My research has been focused on identity, spiritual abuse, deconstruction, and storytelling. Within the leadership track I’m researching Authentic Leadership Theory. All very interesting stuff, don’t read it before bed though.
My working project title is
Empowered Faith: Reclaiming Identity and Reframing Jesus Through Storytelling1 and Holistic Spirituality2
At first I was working on a seminar, or workshop but then one of my classmates wisely shared that after being spoken to from a position of power in a harmful way, perhaps these methods aren’t very helpful. What if I developed something that my participants and I could work through together? Like a book/booklet. Maybe a retreat.
As an aside: While I like the idea of a retreat, I’m also deeply aware that this may be triggering. The last thing I want to do is cause more trauma. Thoughts? Suggestions?
**Face Palm**
Why didn’t I think of that!?! Ugh!!
So, I’m regrouping, and working on a book/let. However, I can offer an outline of what I’m developing.
Individual Interview
Wouldn’t it be nice if someone listened to your story without rebuttal, rebuke, or whatever other “re” word there may be? That’s what this space will be. Obviously not part of the book/let, but an important first step in developing it. What’s the point of creating something without including the actual perspectives of the participants?!
At the end of each section, there will be a spiritual practice. However, I recognize that something like this may be triggering, so it’s always permission based - i.e. “may we do this together?” or “you can give yourself permission to say no.” The practices are also likely to change, because they’ve changed a lot from inception until now. Here’s the layout of the book/let.
1. Validating Your Experience
Based on my research both in books/articles and in the interview, this will be a chance for participants to name what happened. There’s something so powerful in this. To look at an experience and say - “You know what? That was wrong.”
Spiritual Practice: Lament as Worship
2. Reframing Teachings & Jesus
Much of this section will be filled in with generalizations from what I learn through the interviews. What teachings did they find the most harmful? I have some theories, and I’m interested to see what I find out. I don’t want to share too much here, just in case.
Spiritual Practice: Gospel Contemplation
3. Rediscovering Identity
What I’ve noticed, whether by experience or reading, is that when you leave a church you kind of lose yourself. When you’re deconstructing, you don’t really know who to trust anymore. This goes along with what Bick and Schuurman3 found,
What is deconstructed is almost never something from a liberal tradition... [but] the exclusive truth that required conformity of thought and shied away from diversity and difference.
What do you do when you’re identity was wrapped up in one thing, and now it’s gone? Since this is a deep, difficult topic, my hope is to bring some fun things to work through. Maybe the Enneagram, or Brené Brown’s List of Values from Dare to Lead. Instead of focusing on the negative it will incorporate more of the goodness, and strengths we find in ourselves.
It may also dig into our God-Image, and reshaping how we see God/Creator/Universe (depending on the depth of deconstruction). This was helpful for me because when I shifted my God-Image, I was able to see myself through different eyes as well.
Spiritual Practice: I Am Strong, Good, Loved, Cherished
4. Emotional Awareness & Embodied Faith
Here I’m sharing about spiritual bypassing, and the importance of knowing that emotions are neither good nor bad, they just communicate our feelings to us. Anger is okay, just like excitement is okay.
For some, teachings about our body were detrimental. How can we reconnect with our physiological reactions, and learn to listen to what our body is trying to share with us?
Spiritual Practice: Embodied Imagination
5. Engaging “Other” Theologians & Theologies
This is the where I’ll offer a send-off, so to speak. Obviously, I’m available should anyone like to keep meeting, but for the purposes of my project I had to end somewhere. By “Other” theologians, I mean non-white-male-evangelical theologians. Personally, I love listening to Willie James Jennings, or reading Henri Nouwen or Rumi.
Spiritual Practice: Expressive Arts and Spiritual Formation
Where Does Leadership Fit In?
My running joke is that I don’t know how I ended up in the Leadership track. I keep going, hoping that even though I have no idea, I’m preparing for something. But there’s been some new developments here to.
In the first year, I learned how to exegete4 my context. While I was doing it, I couldn’t help but think - how is this ever going to be helpful? Well, it was! Things that I “just knew” before, now have statistics to back up my theories. It helped me understand where I live on a whole new level.
This year one of my classes was called “Philosophy of a Christian Leader.” It’s where I delved into different types of practical theology5 - struggling with Evangelical Practical theology, but finding a lot of purchase in Neo-Protestant Practical theology. It will be helpful in part two and part five of my book/let.
A Long & Winding Review of My Practical Theology
When I came to Tyndale for my Master’s, I believe my theological background would have fallen somewhere between fundamentalism and neo-evangelicalism, and I didn’t really know anything else. Women were not in roles of leadership, and were not given roles in leadership unless they were accompanied by a man, or no men wanted to lead. It was preached that …
The biggest takeaway for me was learning about Authentic Leadership Theory. I’m at the top of the iceberg in researching this, but my oh my, a lot of it landed with me. I’ll be interested to see how I draw it out in the coming months. Pray for me, it’s a 40 page paper!
Finally, in regards to what’s going on outside of school, this January I became the Chair of the local ministerial. I’m networking in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Things are going on around me that seem to be culminating in different ways. Maybe the leadership track was where I was meant to be all along.
I define “storytelling” as sharing your story or experience.
I define “holistic spirituality” as incorporating art, imagination, and ancient spiritual practices like gospel contemplation or lectio divina.
Bick, Angela and Peter Schuurman. 2024. Blessed Are the Undone: Testimonies of the Quiet Deconstruction of Faith in Canada. Saskatoon: New Leaf Network. p. 28
(This is an Amazon Affiliate link. I make a commission if you purchase through this link.)
This is a fancy word for a critical analysis/interpretation of something. Usually it’s used in regards to Bible interpretation - you “exegete” a passage to help understand the background.
Literally, how we practice what we believe.