Community In Church
How to foster community in your church.
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Today, I thought I would address authentic community within the church.
It all comes down to one word... hospitality. No, not like the industry! Just simple, courteous, welcoming.
“But, Andrea,” you may be saying, “we are a welcoming church! We have a welcome desk, a welcome committee, connection cards, a prayer ministry... we know how to welcome!”
Ah, but it’s so much more than that! Allow me to ask the first of many questions.
What is your church culture like?
In A Church Called Tov McKnight & Barringer write,
“every church is a distinct culture, formed and nurtured and perpetuated by the ongoing interaction of leaders and congregants.“ 1
I find this a little bit ironic, and maybe a tad comical as well. Think about it. It kinda throws that whole “be in the world but not of the world“ mindset out the window... I mean, yes you’re out of the world, but now you’re creating your own culture. A culture within the culture. Yes, you could argue with me, and I would expect nothing less. All I’m saying is that it tickles my funny bone a little.
So I ask again, in all seriousness, what is the culture of your church?
Look around you on a Sunday morning…
Is the congregation diverse?
Is there room for different expressions?
Who’s taking the kids downstairs?
Who’s serving food?
What does it smell like?
Is it open and airy, or closed off and musty?
Can you see out the windows?
Who does the music appeal to?
How are you accommodating different people that enter the building?
What are the hidden messages you may be conveying that you hadn’t considered?
Here’s a good one... if the pastor is given their well-deserved vacation, does the congregation take one too?
Further to that, if they take one, is it because there isn’t a service, or because the Pastor’s away?
If there’s a guest speaker, how do they treat them, and who is the guest speaker?
Going back to McKnight and Barringer, they write,
more often, approval and disapproval [in the church] is communicated in [subtle] ways, such as through the passages of Scripture that are taught or not taught, who gets to be on the platform on Sundays, who is selected for leadership, or the prevailing narrative about how the church should interact with the word.2
There’s some food for thought. Let’s go back to your church, and take another look around.
Do you notice any of these subtle disapprovals?
What happens when you voice your concerns?
How is conflict dealt with? (Ooo, that’s a good one!)
How does the church communicate with it’s congregation?
Yes, it is the responsibility of people to be at meetings if they want to be kept up to date on what’s going on in the church, but have you noticed that some things aren’t spoken about? Things that make you go “hmmmmmm.”
Have you looked at your statement of beliefs and by-laws?
Have you looked into the denomination’s treatment of gender, ethnicity, sexuality, divorce, etc.?
Do they match your beliefs?
Would a stranger be likely to come to your church after reading them, or would they be turned away by what they read?
That last one is one to navigate because, as Marva Dawn shares,
Christians understand themselves as citizens of two kingdoms, for we can’t escape our society, nor do we wish to withdraw from it since we want to minister to it. 3
Yet another wrench in the “be in the world but not of the world“ comment I made earlier. (That’s John 17:11, 14-15, by the way - which is actually a prayer from Jesus. Interestingly, if you read 17:15 Jesus prays that we not be taken out of the world, but protected from the evil one. That’s a bonus teaching for you.)
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I share four practices I found in my research, as well as hospitality in the ancient church and a list of helpful resources.
It’s like taking me out for coffee once a month, and I’m always up for coffee.
