Am I A "Christian Atheist?"
Existential Reflections on a Book Title
I met with a friend yesterday, and mentioned that I was struggling with whether I was a “Christian Atheist” because, once again, I had let cynicism seep into my faith as a result of research on spiritual abuse. Do I fear this concept of being a Christian Atheist? Let’s go back a few steps to where this actually started… *insert dramatic theme music here.*
Lately on my Facebook feed I get ads for Audible, and the first book that pops up is “The Christian Atheist” by Craig Groeschel. Now, before I even begin let me be clear about two things - First, I have not read this book, so I have no idea what it’s about. Second, I don’t have anything against Craig Groeschel. This is simply me pondering my faith, my research, my actions, and a book title that caught my attention.
The tagline for “The Christian Atheist” says
Believing in God but Living As If He Doesn’t Exist
So, here I am caught up in my cynicism, feeling a disconnect between myself and God, and I keep getting this book showing up on my feed. Some might call this a divine message, I call it confusing. Am I living as if God doesn’t exist? Or, am I living as if God doesn’t exist according to a Western Evangelical perspective of God? When I voiced this to my friend, it was the first time I said it out loud. I quickly added, “I love Jesus! I love God! I just… struggle with the Church.” A little note here: I use the big ‘C’ Church, meaning the whole Church, or specifically, the Western Evangelical Church. A little ‘c’ church typically speaks to one specific church, “your church” or “my church,” that kind of thing.
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